What do you mean, this is THE END???
I spent the last day on Earth at home. I didn’t have to go to work because I had a few days of leave to clear before moving onto my new job. Of course, there would be nothing left for me to move onto by then since it was already the end of the world. But until that comes along, our lives still had to go on, right? As nobody had any idea what would become of us or exactly what time the ‘global catastrophe’ would strike, all we could do was to continue pushing on as if nothing was going to happen.
You could say that we were in denial, but in actual fact, as mere human beings, there was really nothing much that we could do to save ourselves since the world has decided to give up on us. Of course, there were the preppers, who believed that it was up to them to keep themselves alive. That something could be done to change the situation. Like hoarding so many centuries’ worth of supplies that it seemed like they were trying to rob the world of food and water and that could be how the world ends. Though their survival spirit was truly admirable, I would say. But I was pretty certain that alive was not what I still want to be when everybody else has died or turned into zombies.
Again, nobody had any idea what was going to happen. We could only speculate, and come up with all sorts of ridiculous theories that somehow made sense because nothing else could be more unbelievable than the fact that after that day, none of us would be around anymore. It was really kind of depressing, but most of us chose to treasure what remaining time we had on Earth and use it to do whatever we wanted because it could be our last chance to even do anything at all.
So it was a lovely coincidence that I didn’t have to work that day. No matter how much you love your job, the office will always be a relatively dreary place to be in and I didn’t really want to be stuck in it with the end of the world looming.
I didn’t want to waste that day on sleep either because I figured I could sleep all I want in the grave. That is, if I even get one. So I got up at 5 that morning in an attempt to finish a story that I started writing quite some time back. It was something really close to my heart, so the last thing I wanted was to leave this world with that story added to the list of things I couldn’t finish. What would our future alien descendants think of me when they unearth what is left of my possessions and they discover this horrendously long list that doesn’t really need to be any longer? At least the dinosaurs were limited to more legitimate reasons for extinction like climate change, deadly insect bites and a lack of food. But to have procrastination added on top of all that – I can just picture those freakishly pear-headed mutants rolling their haunting bush baby eyes and going those humans had it coming.
Oh yeah, they had it coming.
In no way would I ever let that happen. As a self-respecting human dedicated to preserving the dignity of my own race, I told myself that I simply had to finish that story before I go even though nobody else actually gave a fuck about it.
Well, at least I did, and that was good enough for me.
I’ll admit though. As I was yawning my heart out waiting for my laptop to boot up, I did consider giving up and just going back to bed to catch up on sleep because it might be critical for maintaining my body in top condition. There might be a lot of running and chasing and screaming and crying or even fighting involved later, so I needed all the energy I could get. But then again, a giant asteroid could just come crashing towards Earth and kill us all in one fell swoop, so I shrugged it off and resumed working on my story.
As I sat there typing in the dark, the concentration on my face lit by the ghoulish light on my monitor, I realised that that was the last time ever that I would be up at an unholy hour writing while my family slept. And boy, would I not miss that. Not with a mother so light a sleeper who would wake at the sound of a cockroach scuttling across the room. Who would then suddenly appear incredibly disheveled next to that ghoulish light to cluck disapprovingly at your unhealthy sleeping patterns before shuffling back to bed, completely unaware that you practically died a little inside just now.
You see, there is just something about being up alone at an unholy hour that makes it impossible to minimise the volume of your actions. The less loud you try to be, the more likely will you end up knocking over things or slamming doors shut or accidentally stubbing your toe into everything. I was sick and tired of causing disturbance to my family like this and especially to my poor mother, so I was really glad that I wouldn’t have to do it anymore. And seriously, come on. Why the hell would I deprive myself of sleep if I had a choice? It’s not like you can schedule inspiration. Or maybe the aliens can. Maybe that was how they became superior to us.
Maybe help was what I really needed.
Anyway, many other things came to me that day to make me realise that that would be the last time I would be experiencing it. My last breakfast (I made a strategic decision to down it with a banana because bananas give you energy and also there just happened to be a bunch of bananas next to the fridge). My last time looking up at a beautiful full moon the night before. My last time enjoying the kind of refreshingly fresh and cool breeze that only comes around before dawn because most people are still asleep in their beds and not up yet to pollute the air (according to @WhatTheFFacts, we can inhale up to 1 litre of farts from other people in a single day – though I can’t tell which is more disturbing, that or the fact that I believe it).
My last time taking a hearty dump in the morning. Which was especially important to me that day because I really didn’t want my bowels to get in the way when running for my life later. The idea of shitting in my pants out of fear when I see our alien overlords park their spaceships made me shiver more compared to the latter, so that was fortunately out of the picture.
My last time taking a proper shower. That was critical too because I doubted I would still be in access to clean water and shampoo in a post-apocalyptic world. Watching stuff like Lost and The Walking Dead and The Day After Tomorrow and Survivor gives you a pretty good idea of how personal hygiene will go extinct first before any human, so I wanted to keep myself as clean as I possibly could for the long run.
I think I would rather die than be stuck like this.
It would be harder on the ladies though, because there is that insanely troublesome time of the month. The women on those survival horror shows never seem to face this problem though, or perhaps the producers thought it would be too messy to talk about it. Anyways, I thought about packing extra pads just in case but I didn’t want to end up with nothing but just a whole bunch of sanitary pads. What about food? What about water? What about shampoo? What about my laptop? My phone? My records? My books? My journals? Why couldn’t I have thought about this through like a prepper instead of pointlessly freaking out now? To what extent can I even prepare myself, anyway? What if my supplies run out one day? What would I do?
And why do I sound so much like a pampered little bitch whining about losing all those things when there are already people out there who never had any of those to begin with? I bet they would last much longer than I would when the end comes. That was probably why it was coming for me. Those things and experiences just seemed so insignificant and forgettable in my daily life as I went on pursuing other stuff. But at the end of the day, what did I really need?
My family. My friends.
I have a reputation for taking particularly long baths but I got out of the shower really quick that day even though I wanted to be thorough. I didn’t want to be trapped in the middle of washing my hair and not being able to see properly when the buildings start collapsing. I wanted to be ready to run with my family anytime so I was pretty much on alert the entire day watching out for signs of invasion and disaster. The sun was so late that day that I thought it wasn’t going to rise so I started to panic a little bit. Then came the sounds of a terrifyingly weird cat meowing at dawn that made me run to the window to see if I could spot the horrible beast and come up with a good exit strategy.
I was so on edge that my mother suggested I leave the house for a stroll or something to get my mind off things. I didn’t want to be away from my family but she had a point. As long as we were together in spirit, it didn’t matter where we were. Plus, she was pretty certain that the end of the world would only come after dinner so she made me get out of the house in the afternoon. Besides, my father and sister still had to go to work that day so we would only be able to spend time together in the evening.
I spent my morning watching my father read the newspaper and munch on his breakfast. I watched my sister do her makeup and her hair like she did every morning. I watched my mother as she bustled about the house and in the kitchen with her chores. I realised that I had never told them that I loved them so I prayed that I had been able to show them with my actions all these years.
Before I left the house, I made sure to revisit certain things that I knew I would miss. I hooked up my ancient Playstation for the last time as a tribute to my favourite childhood memories. I sat on the sofa and did nothing but watch TV for a while and I even went through the commercials without mocking any of them. I also finally finished my story and I sent it to my phone so that I could read it wherever I was. I made sure to charge my phone in case I needed to call my family. That is, if the phone lines were still working. One thing I forgot to do was to charge my MP3 player and that really annoyed me because I didn’t want to end up like Hurley from Lost. He was halfway through chilling to Delicate by Damien Rice on the beach when his Discman died on him. Kind of depressing when music could be the only solace by then. Again, I’m totally sounding like a pampered little bitch. Please forgive me because this is just how I have been living my life so these are the things that I will be missing.
As I squeezed my way into the train, I found myself regretting that I would not be seeing my friends for the last time. We had originally agreed to meet the day after the last day on Earth because we didn’t know. I guess you just can’t have everything in life. There were so many people that I wanted to see but there just wasn’t enough time left. I could only seek comfort in what my mother told me so I could only send my thoughts to all these people who have stumbled into my life to make it what it is. I might have hated some of you before, but I didn’t anymore that day. I might have pissed some of you off before on purpose or not, but I was definitely feeling guilt that day. In fact, I was feeling so many things that I couldn’t really tell what I was feeling anymore. I even forgot to feel fear every time the train bumped at bends and made really loud, ominous noises. I forgot to feel fear when I got out and I saw that really creepy sky that was pouring rain the size of 10-carat diamonds at the speed a really materialistic person would jump at one.
I remember buying a lot of stuff to eat though since I wouldn’t have to deal with the excess weight the next day. I also chatted with random strangers and then I went back home, had dinner with my folks and we sat down together to talk like we usually did. And then we went on with our own stuff until it was way past midnight and I realised that I was still very much around thank you very much.
And all the while, I had completely forgotten what was supposed to be coming for us. Apparently, whatever was coming for us seemed to have forgotten too.
Even till now, I still have no idea what is really going on. So Christmas has gone by and now, another brand new year and here I am, sitting writing this damn thing at yet another unholy hour because my family sleeps annoyingly early.
I guess some things just never change.
Not that I’m complaining.
Meanwhile as I try to figure out exactly what is up with this post, just have a happy new year, everyone.